Octopussy?

"Damn those East European beauties with their sexy accents..."

Maybe I’m missing something here, but is this “Russian spy ring” not the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard? It’s just so “yesterday.” How is it possible to “spy” on us when we put just about everything there is to possibly know out there on the web, tv, radio, blogs, youtube, facebook…

I remember a recent story about a foreign leader’s wife made to shut down her facebook page after posting status updates kvetching about her husband. Spying seems like an unnecessary expense.

And they’re posing as “ordinary citizens”! Aghast. Isn’t just about everybody these days? I mean, a terrorist can sign up for plane-flying lessons as long as he’s got cash. Who gives a damn about Russian spies – we’ve got real problems, people. Terrorists shooting people on military bases, posing as US flag-waving members of the military, oh wait, never mind. Bombers parking vans in Times Square, posing as US citizens, oh wait, dang I’m confused. Can we get the Russian spy-guys to help us by spying on the terrorists? They probably all go to the same universities as “ordinary citizen” students, the same anti-America rallies, the same Young Democrats meetings and parties. They’re probably cheering on the Nats at Nationals Park Stadium or waiting in line for free medical at the local ER. Who the hell can tell the difference these days? My point being: How does one “POSE AS AN ORDINARY CITIZEN”?

The Japanese make the “most American” car with the most American-made parts assembled here, the Chinese are buying up the steel factories and attending neighborhood barbecues in Corpus Christi. One hilarious line in the Wall Street Journal article: “Last month, the German government accused Russia and China of industrial spying on its territory, saying it posed a threat to Germany’s interests.” Hmmm, they forgot the checkbook? And forgot to call it "foreign investment"?

This kinda reminds me of the villain in Austin Powers spy spoof movies who hilariously demands ONE MILLION DOLLARS or else. Then his aides explain to him that he needs to adjust up for inflation. In today’s world, we pay Somali pirates more than that to go away and leave us alone. And of course, a little more than that to Kim Jong Il.. “Spying” is just so hilariously behind-the-times.

So, what information are they “spying” to get (that let’s assume is not readily available on the Internet or found in a pamphlet or discussed by a round table or panel at a conference in Vegas)? The article also states: “The FBI said it tracked the alleged Russian agents for years and accused them of being part of a program aimed at infiltrating US policy-making circles while posing as ordinary Americans.” You’re kidding, right. Policy? When I stop laughing, we can all explain to them (the Russians AND the FBI) that really all that takes is money, too. We call it “campaign donations.”