Exactly Who Is the Stoopid American?

Life Experience: I have had the (mis?)fortune of having some of the funnest, craziest jobs you can imagine which brought me Great Perspective and Random Knowledge, but NOT Worldly Riches. :^) To name a few: newspaper reporter, advertising exec, marketing researcher, photographer, museum curator, public information officer, new technology project leader, marketing director, teacher, customer service manager, "executive assistant" to a CEO, and local production assistant to performing Famous People touring through Oklahoma City. I would also like to add former Boy Scout leader and national sorority officer. Kinda tough to pigeon-hole me. I have nothing to show for all this except great drinking stories. And I have a heckuva time figuring out how to respond to drop-down menus.

Education: Bachelor's in Journalism with a minor in English. Master's in Business Administration with an emphasis in International Marketing.

Personal: I have two teenage sons, Cooter and Farnsworth, who amuse and dismay me in equal parts. I am married to Dale Jr., whom I met during a wild Mensan pool party 8 years ago. You can only imagine how bad the visuals were on that deal. Dale Jr. is an engineer. Need I say more? He is building a catapult to fling golf balls across the street at the neighbors. There is one other female in my home - my slutty cat Emma who bats her eyelashes at men in a blatant attempt to use sexuality to get her way.

Yes, I am a Mensan, BUT in my defense, I have been told I got in on the "Dan Quayle Plan" or to help them meet their blonde quota. Dontcha just love Dumb Blonde jokes? (I do have to admit I don't understand the Dan Quayle crack, though...) Mensans can be so nasty.

So, there you have it. Proof that even somebody with a Mensa-IQ and multiple degrees can still be stoopid. I hope to fix that with your help.