The Power of the People

I heard an interesting statement yesterday: The retail world has programmed us, trained us, to shop sales. We’re always hunting for the lowest price.

This is very thought-provoking, and I wonder if I agree. This is laying the blame for our current situation (the addiction to Wal-Mart and thus its ridiculous power to make or break producers as well as the addiction to All Things made in China and elsewhere that has resulted in continuous product recalls of cars, food, toys, and baby items) at the feet of Retail Business.

What about Economic Theory (resources i.e. money are scarce), Human Nature (yes, greed), and Marketing (the most powerful word in the English language being “Free!”). I don’t think we were “trained” necessarily…we were very willing participants. I do think the Wal-Mart phenomenon made it possible to find crap for less.

So here we are, my fellow Stoopid Americans. Our houses are full to the roofs with enormous amounts of crap. Some of us even make appearances on the tv show “Hoarders” because we’ve lost the use of entire rooms and dwellings. Storing our precious crap has become important. How many of us rent additional storage space, paying every month to hold onto old tv sets, computers, stereos, mattresses, broken LaZBoy recliners. Do we ever stop to weigh the cost of storage against the value of the items?

“Hoarders” isn’t the only show allowing us a glimpse of the cluttered lives of Americans. It seems most of the interior decorating shows involve the removal of crap first. What about the one in which the people carry all their crap to the front yard and make three piles? The grand finale is a yard sale. Yay, more money to buy more crap! Another show artfully combines the crap belonging to newlyweds who refuse to part with their individual crap. Then there’s the fashion make-over shows. First step: discard all the crap currently in the closet.

Have you peeked into the garages of neighbors, on the rare occasion that the door is open? Sometimes there’s a dusty old car, inoperable. There are always plastic bins, stacked, by those people still treading water, struggling to push back the tide and shove it in boxes.

We are literally drowning in all our crap. We can’t even properly use the items, as we can’t find them. Our mental capacities are overwhelmed.

When will we decide “enough”? Have we learned our lesson? How many of us must die driving cheap cars with parts that fail, eating cheap, genetically-modified, factory-processed food that weakens us, makes us stoopider, and inhibits the body’s natural ability to fight infection and disease and regenerate. How many children sacrificed on the altar of Everyday Low Prices? And what about the lost potential of those young Americans, hell, America in general, because of all those individuals who eat Cheetoz instead of an apple, only exercise as the walk from house to car, or are sick and sad, overwhelmed by their lives. No matter, there’s a pill for everything. You don’t have to change the original behavior that caused the problem – take the magic pills. Yes, the ones that cause all the other side effects.

Is this the Greatest Nation on Earth? We have prospered ourselves right into stoopid oblivion. And I don’t think we can blame Business. It was good, old-fashioned Greed. Our consumer behavior driven by greed and faulty decision-making has resulted in “training” Business to find ways to cut costs and quality and deliver the goods at the price we demand. We have forced them to find raw materials in China and assemble them in Mexico. Business does what we tell it to do…and we say it with our money.

I would like to persuade my friends to do two things.

1. Spend some time with your crap this weekend. Analyze why you bought it, what did it mean to you, was it used and enjoyed, what is its role now. If there is no room or purpose for it in your life, donate it. Hold the thoughts and feelings close in your heart to remember the next time you’re at the store considering a purchase. Really question the lust for more instead of better.

2. Eat organic. Ignore the wily marketer’s commercial that high fructose corn syrup is really good for you! Target stores are leading the charge on affordable organic. You don’t have to spend three times as much to shop at specialized health food stores. Send the message that you don’t want to eat crap anymore, by choosing to spend just a little extra to be healthier. (Maybe then the 25 different arrangements of Ho-Hos will disappear to make room for more organic offerings.) Let’s change the current business dynamic. Do you really want to EAT the cheapest crap? We deserve better. Let’s demand it. And for God’s sake, don’t expect the government to make these smart choices for you and force business to do unprofitable things…government involvement leads to more corruption, confusion, wasted resources.

Let the free market work to address this problem. I see all sorts of signs that it already is beginning. Business is feeling the hit in sales and responding. McDonald’s serves oatmeal now. Yes, really. Longtime cereal manufacturers are creating new lines under new DBA’s. (Kellogg is really behind Kashi, and no, it’s not organic.) My milk carton now says: “Our farmers pledge NOT to use artificial growth hormones.” Thank you. I think I’ll show my appreciation by buying you. You farmers will succeed; the others will go out of business.

All the brilliant ideas we will have in the future, all the discoveries, humanitarian and business successes, the defeat of evils, the solving of problems – all this begins with what we choose to eat and feed our children right now. Us. Not the government idiots and shysters.

Stoopid Products

I just subjected myself to three back-to-back episodes of "Hoarding." The people featured in this program are, of course, extreme shocking cases dealing with eviction, jail, social isolation. They've all suffered trauma, loss of some kind -- death, fire, etc. And they comfort themselves with things.

However, I don't know anyone who doesn't do this to some extent. People who can't park their cars in their garages. People with boxes still unpacked from their last move. People who moved in together and couldn't bear to part with the duplications. People taught to never waste anything. People who compulsively shop to feel good and fill a void. Creative people with an overwhelming number of projects.

Add to our own psychological issues the constant bombardment of an advertising world telling us we must have the latest new and improved or we will not be beautiful, popular, hip and up-to-the-minute.

We are being buried alive by our own crap, folks, and I sense that we are reaching critical mass. Our credit cards certainly have. You can insert here astonishing facts regarding Americans' individual debt. We've all heard it before.

This is the ugly Big Picture: We're going into debt to acquire more and more crap we don't need to self-medicate. And a lot of this crap is plastic made in China in attractive shapes and colors, masquerading with a purpose, and sold in Wal-Marts in every city, town and burb. The plastic was made with oil drilled from the ocean. China, in the midst of an Industrial Age on 'Roids, is trashing its land, air and water at an unbelievable pace.

As is my habit, I often deal with serious issues with sarcasm and humor. I'd like to help everyone begin a new life of NON-acquisition by presenting ridiculous products I see advertised that YOU REALLY DON'T NEED. I hope you will add to my post little treasures you've seen pushed on the American people as well.

At some point, we will all begin to see that there's really very little one needs to be happy in this world.


The Bubbler: You fill this thing with bubble bath liquid, add batteries, and it floats around agitating the water and releasing bath gel. Someone has got to be reeeeeeeally lazee to use this instead of their hand to swish the soap around or reeeeeeeally stoopid to not pour the soap directly under the faucet where the water is running. Batteries? Come on people, think of the planet.

S'Mores Maker: Brought to us by our friends at Hershey's who understand how tired we are of smoke, ash, mosquitoes, you know, Real World Experience stuff, yet we still want the one-of-a-kind treat shared across the campfires of our childhoods. And we're going to need it SO often. Really people, all you still need is a wire clothes hanger. Provide your own graham crackers, marshmallows and Hershey's chocolate bars.



Toilet Tattoos: This is a vinyl film that fits over your toilet lid. Why? Because your bathroom needs some Christmas cheer, too. And so will the landfills for generations to come. And the wildlife on the coast. They could use a good chuckle.