Tea, Anyone?

I want to join the local TEA party because I believe I have been Taxed Enough Already. I believe government spending is out of control. I see deficit spending, borrowing gazillions from China, as the thing that will bring our country to its knees. I believe that the government is mostly corrupt, drunk on greed and power. I think the federal government is over-stepping its constitutionally outlined role. The amount of money wasted is unacceptable to me.

So, where do I sign up? I’m all about fiscal responsibility and view this as the Number One Issue.

Let us delve into the tragically sad possibilities.

The two largest groups in my state are: Sooner Tea Party and Oklahoma City Tea Party. The Sooner one formed in 2009 by splitting from the OKC one, after 5000 people attended a rally at the Capital. So who are they and why the split?

According to the daily paper, Sooner Tea Party is headed up by Al Gerhart, and these are the quack-a-doodles talking about forming a militia to defend citizens from a hostile federal government. Hmmm. I think it’s possible, if we continue down the current path, that the government will become so powerful and over-reaching some day that it succeeds in disarming us and turning us into silent worker-drones who turn over all the fruits of our labor to the Agency for Redistribution. But, hey, we’re not there yet, not close. You look like a psycho.

Actually, the guy does look a lot like the mentally ill person who shot the Arizona congresswoman…bald, big eyes. Okay, forget I said that; I wouldn’t want folks making fun of how I look. That’s not a deciding factor in my quest to find my party-home. Okay, so the guy has no PR sense, a lot of people don’t…like the POTUS.

Let’s check out the website. Hmmm. Well, it’s just long rants by Al, not a lot of spelling errors (and that’s a relief on my eyes). He’s really fired up about state and local politics – I totally disagree with that focus. And maybe that’s why the groups split? Really, he’s scrabbling in the dirt over pennies when Jacksons are being sucked up by the Federal Vacuum Cleaner. Gee, unplug the machine, instead of trying to snatch back the crumbs. The federal government is the big problem, not the little guys sitting on the school board or the city council.

The truth of the matter is we Oklahoma Cityans like to pay taxes to build stuff we can see and use locally (baseball stadium, river canal, convention center, school buildings, etc.). We have voted repeatedly in favor of economic development projects to lift our city up and improve our lifestyle. And these public funds have attracted several times more in private investment. A huge success.

What we don’t like is tax money used to support programs or efforts we don’t believe in (like Viagra for sex offenders or feeding hungry foreigners when we have hunger here) or wasted on silly, unnecessary projects (bridges to nowhere, replacing perfectly fine sidewalks in towns we’ll never visit).

We only have so much energy and resources. I don’t want to squander mine on local crap when the problems with greater impact and reach are at the federal level.

The local taxes were a good business decision, earning an excellent return on our investment. Many federal taxes disappear in a black hole to never be seen again. The money is supposed to achieve a certain goal, rarely does it.

Nope, Al and I aren’t on the same page.

Next. Oklahoma City Tea Party doesn’t seem to have quite the same “radical” image. Let’s check out their website.

Right there on the home page, they urge me to “sign” this huge manifesto that begins as follows:

“It has been widely published that some in the majority caucus of the state legislature have determined to hold fiscal issues of the highest importance. The undersigned wish to bring another set of issues to the forefront without diminishing the importance of financial matters.”

Well, I don’t need to read any further. TEA means Taxed Enough Already. WTH? What’s this about “non-fiscal” issues? Hmmm. Why are you talking about the state legislature? And what’s with the pompous tone – are you writing the Emancipation Proclamation?

Well, you know me, I read further anyway out of curiosity.

Ah, TEA party to these people is a tool to be used like a Trojan horse to go after evolution and abortion and gay people. Really, I don’t care about that! And these people tend to sit around and think up bills to attack evolution and abortion and gay people, that end up costing me MORE money to implement. Wrong, wrong. These are Republicans disguising themselves as Tea party. Actually, they are those ultra-religious fringers of the R-party, mad at the R-party for not being ultra-religious enough. It really makes me mad that they pretend to use fiscal responsibility as a rallying cry, because I really do feel strongly about government spending issues.

I also feel strongly about government staying out of a woman’s reproduction decisions (that means NOT funding them either!). I also feel strongly that gay people should be allowed to marry, divorce, do whatever they want as long as I’m not paying for it and they’re not hurting anyone. Why do some people feel the need to be in other people’s business and use my money to fund it? Evolution? Don’t care. The schools aren’t teaching half the kids to read – do you think they’ll understand and remember one chapter in science class? You want to focus on one science chapter when the schools in general are failing so spectacularly across the board?

Does this make me a Democrat on social issues? I think more of a Libertarian. Government, get out of it! Leave people alone.

You know, a lot of people manage to partake in organized religion and not become a bunch of rabid haters. Like me and the people I know.

Is there no party for us? So, I will continue to be a true TEA party patriot, refuse to align with the nut jobs hijacking the movement, and vote for candidates who really believe in cutting government size and taxes.